A Day Without Interwebs

I woke up this afternoon to discover that the internet is out.  I need my coffee and computer time, so I’ll blog a little.  This new year is moving as swiftly as I suspected it would.  I am now in my third week of school, and I have my first day of clinical on Thursday.  I am very excited about it.  I will be working with my hospital’s Palliative Care Program.  They offer support to patients and families facing life-altering or life-limiting illnesses.  It is a much-needed service for families in crisis trying to handle an emotional situation with little medical knowledge and muddling through a complicated healthcare system.  I would someday like to progress from bedside nurse, but I don’t really have any interest in being a nurse practitioner.  This might be a good fit for me.  I look forward to finding out.

I tend to get the travel bug this time of year.  It is cold and gloomy, and planning a trip makes me oh-so-happy.  Matt and I went skiing a few years ago, and I have always wanted to go back and take the kids.  The only problem is that skiing is so expensive.  I received an email about a homeschool ski class in North Carolina that was the least expensive ski package I’ve ever seen.  It was too good to pass up.  We are going the first week in February.  We are planning to drive up on Tuesday, spend the night in Boone, NC., attend a snowboarding class on Wednesday morning, and spend the rest of the day on the slopes.  I hope the kids enjoy it.

Those plans didn’t come as easily as you might think.  Every marriage has its issues.  In my marriage the issue is that I love adventure, and Matt is a homebody.  I realize that it might not sound like a big deal, but for me it is.  It is something that we regularly come to an impasse on.  I remember hearing Dr. Phil saying that if your sex life is good, it is about ten percent of your relationship.  If it is bad, it is ninety percent.  I’m thinking it is the same with this issue.  It comes up ALL THE TIME.  I feel like I have a need  to go new places and do new things.  Matt feels just as strongly about not going new places and doing new things.  How can we stay together and both be happy?  I guess we just compromise.  We don’t do nearly as much as I would like, and occasionally he ventures out of his comfort zone purely to make me happy. 

                Matt doesn’t want to drive 5 hours each way for the ski trip, and he doesn’t think the kids will enjoy it as much as I think they will.  There is also the added cost of appropriate clothing.  Matt initially agreed to the trip, and we planned to go this week, but we realized he had oral surgery scheduled and Bonnie has her required CRCT 8^th grade writing test.  When I cancelled, he asked me not to reschedule.  I pouted.  I really try not to pout, but when I am disappointed, it is hard for me to hide my feelings.  I didn’t stick out my bottom lip and refuse to speak to anyone like a three year-old, and I didn’t have the goal of using manipulation to get my way.  I was just bummed, and I couldn’t hide it.  After several days of discussion, he agreed to reschedule.  The kids were already excited about it.  I found Rosemary a ski bib at Goodwill.  I have gone by every Monday looking for pants for the other kids, but I’ve had no luck.  I’ll keep looking, and we can always rent from the lodge if we have to.

                Continued the next morning:  I had promised the kids I would play a game with them after everyone was bathed.  Just as the last one got out, the internet started working again.  I had felt so out of touch with the outside world that I couldn’t resist the urge to catch up on email and Facebook and such.  By the time I got ready to play, the kids were getting grouchy and wild.  We played two rounds of Uno, and it was miserable.  Name-calling, slapping each others hands, yelling, intentionally tooting on a sibling.  Horrid behavior.  It pains me when they are mean to each other.   Before we said prayers last night, I gave them a lecture about how families are supposed to love each other and build each other up.  We did an exercise where each child turns to the sibling on their right, looks them in the eye and says one thing they love about, appreciate, or admire about him or her.  After the initial sighs and eye rolls, we started.  Afterward, they all asked if we could go around in the other direction and do it again!  Wow!  Everyone loves to hear nice things about themselves and to be reminded that they are loved as a unique member of the family.  Here are a few excerpts:

Will to Rosemary: “I love how you don’t always have to have your own way when you play with us.  If you want to play one thing, and we want to play something else, instead of getting mad, you shrug your shoulders and say ‘that sounds fun, too’.  It makes you fun to play with”.

Rosemary to Bonnie:  “I love your sense of fashion.  I love that you help me with my hair, paint my nails, and let me wear your scarves”.  

Bonnie to Luke:  “I know that we fight a lot and that we are very competitive with each other, but that competition drives me to be my best.   It is often knowing you are watching me that pushes me that extra little bit, and that is a good thing.”

Luke to Will:  “I love that you make friends really easily.  When we meet new people, you are nice and fun, and they all say ‘Hey, that’s the kid I want to be friends with”.  

All these comments were heartfelt, and a few of the kids had tears in their eyes.  I think Luke struggled though because the other kids had to be prompted a little bit to remember the wonderful things about him. It made me feel bad.  He spends a lot of time fighting and pestering, but underneath it all, he is a wonderful kid.  I will have to start noticing and pointing out the wonderful things about him.  

Goodbye 2013. Hello 2014.

The end of one year and beginning of another is always bittersweet to me.  It is an opportunity to reflect on the last twelve months, a chance to look forward to the next twelve months, and in doing so, I am always keenly aware of the passage of time.  As people older than me always warned me, time seems to move more swiftly the older you get.

I remember spending New Year’s Eve at my grandparents’ house as a child because my parents always went out with friends.  Granny and Grandpa let us eat candy, drink sparkling cider, watch Dick Clark's Rockin NYE, and run outside at midnight yelling “Happy New Year” at the top of our lungs.   I remember loud, fun evenings as a teenager or young adult drinking way too much and looking forward to a midnight kiss.  I remember wondering where and with whom I would be when 1999 turned into 2000.  After Bonnie was born, she created her own little tradition of getting an ear infection just in time to ruin our NYE plans.  ;-)   The worst year was when everyone in the house except me had the flu and I stayed up by myself until midnight playing Sudoku.  At midnight, I heard the neighbors’ fireworks and looked out the window but couldn’t see them.  Then I cried and went to bed.  Since then, I have tried to be around people on NYE and ring in the new year on a happy note.

This year was totally different.  I had to work.  Every critical care bed in the hospital is full, and there are patients on other units who are sick enough to be in intensive care, but there is no room.  This flu/pneumonia combo going around is scary.  The really scary part is that it is hitting young people really hard.  We have four patients under the age of 50 on ventilators. 

Anyway, my last three nights of work have been some of the most difficult shifts I have ever worked.  There were no meals, almost no potty breaks, no chit-chat with coworkers or checking my email, and certainly no New Year festivities.  I will candidly admit that on Sunday night, I would have not been able to keep both my patients alive if not for the help of two awesome coworkers.  Both patients were being sustained from minute to minute by IV medications.  If a pump started beeping, my patient started to die, and there were LOTS of pumps going.  These shifts were exhausting, both mentally and physically.   There were times I wanted to cry, but crying doesn’t go a long way in keeping patients alive.  One of the nurses on dayshift had made some inspirational quote signs.  They were tongue-in-cheek messages to the nurses who had worked that day.  The one hanging on the board above my room said “Either you run the day, or the day will run you”.  I totally felt like the day was running me.  I had no time to stop and formulate a plan.  It was one emergency after another for 12 hours straight.  I had to give report on my patients before going to find a quiet place to chart for the entire shift.  Here’s to hoping that the 2014 brings less chaos on the work front!

                I made resolutions for 2013, but I didn’t restart my blog until June.  Here is a rundown of the year.  I would generally label this year as “busy and productive”.  I am hoping to label 2014 as “restful and relaxing”.   LoL

-  One resolution was to start my BSN program.  I took Statistics in the summer and started the BSN program in August.  I’m halfway done!

- I resolved to eat better and exercise. It has not gone perfectly, but it has gone well.  On June 2nd,  I signed up with HealthyWage.  I wagered $150 that I would lose 10% of my body weight in 6 months.  On December 2nd, I had my final weight verified, and I won $300.  Over 6 months, I lost 16 pounds by counting calories and running 3-4 days a week.  Now the challenge will be to keep the momentum going.  Or rather to get it going again after a lazy and gluttonous December. 

- I planned to paint and redecorate our master bedroom, the boys’ bedroom, and the kitchen/dining room,/stairwell of our house .  Only the master bedroom got done.  This is the area of life where I just run out of energy.  After all the necessities are complete, I just want to rest for a while. 

- We took the kids to the indoor water park in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee in February.  Matt and I normally take a trip alone to the mountains in February, but we had just gone to the USVI in November, so we made the mountain trip a family trip.

- The participated in the homeschool coop in the Fall, and I taught a class.

- I joined the ladies Bible study at church.  I haven’t been as faithful a member as I had planned to be, but I hope to keep going this year.

- Family vacation was to Cape San Blas, Florida.

- My niece, Annabelle, was born on July 24th.

- Sailor became part of our family on September 29.

- October trip to NYC to celebrate Bonnie’s entry into adolescence

Now I need to get to work on my plan for this year.  I hope that 2014 will be a year of good health, happiness, and prosperity for you all.