People I Love are in Pain

        My heart is heavy from carrying burdens of the people I love.  People are constantly asking for prayers, and if I say I am praying for you, I really do.  I pray for you.  I think about you. I love you. I want to help you.  These situations are swirling in my head, so here we go.

         Matt’s cousin, Denise, was diagnosed with gastric cancer last November.  She was told that only 10 percent of people diagnosed with gastric cancer survive for one year.  Instead of despairing, she thought “That’s one in ten. That’s ten in one hundred.  Why not me?”  She wasn’t ready to die.  She underwent surgery and chemotherapy.  Her post-treatment scans were clear.  She was able to take a family trip to Disney World with her children and grandchildren, visit  family members and friends, and celebrate her 50th birthday.  Last month, she discovered that her cancer had returned and it had spread to her liver and other organs.  She went on hospice and was at home with her family during her final days.  On Sunday morning, sweet Denise went home to be with her Lord.  She leaves behind a mother, a husband, two daughters and sons-in-law, 3 young grandchildren, a brother, and lots of other family and friends.  Her funeral is tomorrow evening.  She was a fabulous lady, and she will be missed.

         When I was 16 years old, I went to work at Six Flags.  I worked in the parking lot and drove the trams.  Every time we passed the toll plaza, this one blonde headed girl would smile a bright, beautiful smile and wave like crazy.  I knew immediately that I wanted to be friends with her.  We became best buds.  Tiffany’s home was like a second home to me.  Her dad looked after me.  After I got married and had kids, we lost touch for a while.  About five years ago, we found each other again.  She has a son who is Rosemary’s age and a ten month-old daughter named Ava.  A few weeks ago, Tiffany noticed Ava tilting her head to one side.  She initially thought it was an earache or pain from cutting teeth.  After several calls and trips to the pediatrician, her daughter was admitted to CHOA at Scottish Rite on Thursday.  On Friday, an MRI revealed a brain tumor and a spot on her spinal cord.  She had surgery to remove it this morning (Monday), and it was determined to be cancerous.  They were unable to remove the spot on her spinal cord without compromising her ability to walk, so chemo is the next step.  Tiffany is devastated.  Her dad died from lung cancer when she was pregnant with Ava, so hearing the word “cancer” brings back a flood of heartache and she still has the difficult job of explaining this to her 7 year-old son.  I went to see her this evening, and she seemed to be doing well.  I think she is still in a state of shock.  I will update about this situation as it unfolds.

          I have a coworker who has a 10 year-old daughter who was born very premature.  She had respiratory failure and several strokes, which left her mostly paralyzed.  She has a trach and is largely ventilator dependant.  This little girl has been loved to pieces and very well cared for.  The time has now come that my coworker always knew would come.  The little girl is dying.  Her temperature is going from very high to very low and her heart rate is all over the place as well.   It is neurological, so there is nothing that can be done.  She spent one night with us this weekend in ICU, and went home on hospice the next day.  I know her mother’s heart is breaking.  The girl also has an 11 year-old sister.  We took up a collection for her at work to get gift cards to local restaurants so she won’t have to cook.  The day that they went home, someone posted a photo of her and her daughter cuddled up in bed together fast asleep.  I know she wants to hold on to these precious moments as long as she can.

         The next sick child on my heart is 14 years old – the same age as Bonnie.  When Bonnie first started online school, we found another local family in the school directory.  They also had a child in Bonnie’s grade, so we started getting together every week for science lessons, and Bonnie and Camron became good friends.  They spent the night together often.  The other family went back to traditional public school and then they moved to the next town over, and the girls eventually lost touch.  I remained friends with Camron’s mom on Facebook.  She has divorced and remarried and just had a new baby.  Just a few days after the baby was born, it was discovered that Camron had a tumor in her abdomen.  It originated from her ovary and wrapped around her colon.  They got most of it, and she is currently undergoing chemotherapy.  Her mother sometimes posts status updates asking for prayers in the middle of the night when Camron is up vomiting from chemo.  Her cancer might not fit neatly into the “childhood cancer” category, but I know that 14 is way too young to have to deal with such an adult issue.  It makes me want to squeeze Bonnie tight every time I pass her in the hall. 

         Is that all?  I guess that’s it with the cancer patients.  I also have several people on my heart who are in the midst of separations and divorces.  Men have used them.  Men have abused them. Men have gone crazy.  Men have cheated.  All different situations with these women, but there is one thing they all have in common.  They have all been models of grace and dignity while going through hell. 

         And then there is Matt.  This seems almost trivial with all the aforementioned situations, but Matt broke his hand yesterday.  He was punching Luke’s dog in the head to try to make him stop biting a baby goat with its head stuck in a fence.  The type of break is called a “boxer’s break”, and you get it from punching stuff.  The good news is that he will not need surgery, just a brace for 4 to 6 weeks and a follow-up x-ray.   It’s just a painful, expensive inconvenience.

         Sometimes I feel so incredibly blessed that all my babies are healthy.  It is easy to think that having a sick child is something that you “could never do”.  It is not anything that anyone would volunteer for.  You just step up and deal with whatever life throws your way.  And if you are lucky, you have people who love you who are there to love you, pray for you, and help carry your burden.